I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
