i just wanna soil my oats bro
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
