They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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