She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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