no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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