My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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