Are we in a gay sports bar?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
