She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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