Kareoke will never be a sober sport
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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