They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
