No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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