you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
