On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
