I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
