i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
