plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
