I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
