mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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