i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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