The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
