making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
