just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize