he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
