you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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