Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
