just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
