We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
