idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
