So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize