Don't you send me to vm
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
