I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
my liver is dry heaving
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
