SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
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