You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
