He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize