I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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