I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
