There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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