I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
where are my eyebrows?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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