I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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