when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Everything about him screamed your future.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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