the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
