So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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