fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize