I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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