I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
