Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
