Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
