and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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