dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
