he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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