ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
