her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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