question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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