brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
