Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
