i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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