I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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