Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
