I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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