If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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