All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think my vagina is haunted
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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