did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
