ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize