I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
