nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize