He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
