I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize