Duck Duck Cougar?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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